TEAMTG: REFRESHINGLY DIFFERENT™

While the actual script for tonight’s movie remains confidential, I will share the source text for the production. We will film tonight, and then the project will move into production for the next half of the week. Expect a release at some point late in the week.

Enjoy your sneak preview of what’s to come:

[15:34] *** cybachicken has joined #teamtg.
[15:49] OmniWork: you are a shithead, Cyberchicken.
[15:49] OmniWork: You can’t learn that in an office, eh?
[15:51] cybachicken: WhaT?
[15:52] OmniWork: You want to talk to me, you want to talk to someone else… because this is my job. This is my job on the line, and you are going to talk to me.
[15:54] cybachicken: I’ll tell you about it later
[15:55] OmniWork: How much did you get for them? HOW MUCH DID YOU GET FOR THEM?
[15:56] cybachicken: Too much, it was a long drawn out sunday morning, and I have no place to stay
[15:56] OmniWork: That was easy, wasn’t it?
[15:57] cybachicken: I’m afraid not, the back yard dogs were on my trail all the way til Georgia, and I lost my social security card…
[15:58] OmniWork: Mmm. I want to tell you something, Cyberchicken. You have a big mouth.
[15:59] cybachicken: No, don’t do that!
[15:59] cybachicken: You can’t cut back on funding, you will regret this!
[15:59] cybachicken: Say the word, and I’ll be gone forever
[16:00] OmniWork: Forget it. Frame it. It’s worthless.
[16:19] SirSteven: What the fuck is this?
[16:23] cybachicken: I’m quite tired with your insolence, prepare to die!
[16:24] * SirSteven prepares to DODGE
[16:24] cybachicken: You called my number, ahhhhhhhhhhh!
[16:25] SirSteven: Yes.
[16:25] cybachicken: I want to tell you something steef, you have a huge ASS
[16:25] * cybachicken strikes SirSteven
[16:25] * SirSteven dodges
[16:25] SirSteven: You know you just wanna make bacon out of it cause it looks so tasty.
[16:27] cybachicken: If you weren’t my father’s daughter’s sister in law, I would!
[16:28] SirSteven: You’ve got it wrong, chicken. They sister in laws gone.
[16:28] * cybachicken dodges
[16:28] StormMage: SirSteven
[16:28] StormMage: go get the wic demo :P
[16:28] * SirSteven dodges StormMage
[16:28] StormMage: it kicks major ass :D
[16:29] StormMage: or i can link to a torrent of the full game
[16:29] cybachicken: stormmage fucking fail man, get out!
[16:29] StormMage: j0 mama fucking fails for bringing you into existence cybachicken
[16:29] SirSteven: Omni can’t make a movie out of this shit.
[16:29] cybachicken: That’s not funny, my brother died that way
[16:29] StormMage: sorry
[16:30] SirSteven: wtf virus from StormMage
[16:33] cybachicken: How would you like it if I went commando on your ass
[16:37] * SirSteven raises hand
[16:37] cybachicken: faggot shit, barebacking is eww
[15:49] OmniWork: He’s right. You have to learn it on the street. You can’t buy that. You have to live it.
[16:30] SirSteven: wtf, where you come from!
[16:05] * cybachicken looks at omni
[16:19] SirSteven: What the fuck, hate.

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For those of you lucky enough to own a Playstation 3 and Warhawk — listen closely: TeamTG wants you!If you are interested in helping us form a Warhawk team, please jump into our IRC chatroom at http://www.teamtg.com/chat/. Our team management is based in California, but we are open to recruitment nationally and internationally.Please contact BT14 or OmniRune in our IRC chat room, or e-mail join@teamtg.com. Cheers!

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We have merged our six mailing lists into the teamtg mailing list. If you are not yet a member of our team mailing list, please subscribe by visiting http://mail.teamtg.com/teamtg

Our mailing list serves as a backup means of communication for announcing game plans and match details. In addition, for those who do not frequent IRC, it gives you a snapshot of what’s new with our team.

WE HAVE ALSO UPDATED OUR COMMAND E-MAIL ADDRESSES. To contact our Executive Officers (XOs), please e-mail xo@teamtg.com. To contact our Commanding Officers (COs), please e-mail co@teamtg.com. Or, if you’d like to contact all commanders at once, please e-mail command@teamtg.com.

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Ah, StormMage. What would we do without thee? The man who likes to not only eliminate competition, but do so with absolute overkill so that there is no hope of them leaving a foot print behind.

[09:43] StormMage: sunday/tuesday i was busy with a girl  :)
[09:46] cybachicken: Stormmage, guess you had to go to court again?
[09:46] StormMage: nope :)
[09:46] OmniWork: who is the girl?
[09:46] * StormMage is finally seeing some action on the female front after 7 years
[09:47] OmniWork: i wouldn’t boast about that.
[09:48] OmniWork: you have your first date yet?
[09:48] StormMage: lol depends on how you define date
[09:50] StormMage: i helped her buy a laptop and set it up then we went out to eat
[09:51] OmniWork: was the objective of the night to set up the laptop, or was it to go out and eat, and the laptop was an added bonus for her
[09:51] StormMage: laptop
[09:51] OmniWork: thats not a date
[09:51] StormMage: thats what i thought but some friends said it was a date :P

***

[09:54] OmniWork: as much as it may suck, relationships are a lot like a game. imagine you’re playing starcraft. you need to zerg rush her pussy before she’s got marines up and running.
[09:55] StormMage: lurkers own marines tho
[09:55] OmniWork: you are gonna wait around long enough for you to develop lurkers? fuck by that time, some other fucker has already invaded her base, not to mention she can do sensor sweeps at that stage.
[09:56] StormMage: lol
[09:56] * StormMage sends in infested terrans
[09:57] StormMage: disguise ftw :D
[10:00] OmniWork: wait… if the analogy is your girl = terran… and you come in with a disguise.. are you saying you will cross dress to get closer to the chic? like the movie white chics?
[10:01] cybachicken: then I come in…
[10:01] * cybachicken nuclear launch detected
[10:03] cybachicken: You called in the thunder

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It’s starting…

With BT14 missing for the past 2 days, reports have begun to filter in of other less worthy magnates trying to take his position at the right hand of the Church. OmniRune is worried sick that future pictures of his ass are going to be very lonely, and has put out the call to try and find BT as soon as possible. His sentimental words of caring have brought tears to the eyes of all who have heard his plea:

i know last night he did finally come home but he left he living room lights on and the front door unlocked. bastard

Come home BT14.. Omni promises to not be as ridiculously cruel as can possibly be to you for at least 20 minutes. His caring battery is all charged up.. he just needs you home. Come home.

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Folks, it’s Monday morning! Over the weekend, we have released new TeamTG Wallpaper. Check it out, and replace that horrific wallpaper we had from the TeamTG Dublin SummerBash LAN!

After a sleepy weekend in TG IRC, our troops have kicked into full speed and started off the day with crazy conversation number one:

[09:35] Flicky: maybe you were taking some sort of hallucinogen at the same time
[09:35] OmniWork: and i had to rescue the princess, but i didnt want to save that bitch
[09:36] Steef|work: it wasnt tania?
[09:36] OmniWork: no. it was my evil college roommate’s girlfriend
[09:37] Steef|work: hot?
[09:37] Flicky: apparently psycho
[09:37] Steef|work: well duh, she’s female
[09:37] StormMage: only if you define medusa as hot
[09:37] Flicky: i suppose thats a turnoff
[09:37] OmniWork: medusa is a fucking babe
[09:37] Steef|work: Omni Omni’d Medusa
[09:38] OmniWork: that is why all that look at her now turn to stone. dude if you made out with medusa, you’d have lil love bites all over your head.
[09:38] Flicky: would that be a bad thing
[09:38] StormMage: you mean she looked at omni and turned to stone?
[09:38] Steef|work: only if it was poisonous
[09:39] OmniWork: ya you gotta make out with medussa while she’s wearing blinged out designer sun glasses dude.
[09:39] Flicky: ok then.
[09:39] OmniWork: so you gotta catch her on the beach getting a tan
[09:39] StormMage: i still think she saw your face and got so turned off she turned to stone. :P
[09:39] *** Flicky has left #teamtg.
[09:40] OmniWork: maybe one of her snakes bit your fro and it coughed up hairballs and from then on she turned men into stone
[09:40] * Steef|work throws stones at Flicky
[09:40] OmniWork: Flicky Leaves because Crasty Don’t Talk (TM)
[09:42] *** Mais has joined #teamtg.
[09:42] *** Mode change “+o Mais” for channel #teamtg by ChanServ.
[09:42] StormMage: i thought she was jealous of medusa
[09:42] Mais: windows box is up, finally
[09:42] OmniWork: yeah, i mean c’mon, what girl wouldn’t want to be hot enough to turn their men into fucking stone
[09:42] Mais: that would be too hot
[09:42] StormMage: lol, fucking stone, XD
[09:43] Mais: they wouldn’t be able to fuck you cause that would hurt.
[09:43] OmniWork: your dick would be as hard as a rock.
[09:43] Mais: it would be rock
[09:43] StormMage: i was thinkin she got em all reday then stoned em to enjoy when she was horny
[09:43] Mais: vaginal scraping

And that is Mythology 101, TeamTG style.

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Like every good story, the members of TeamTG all come from diverse backgrounds… and since we’re one happy family, here’s a family picture:

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Today has had its share of awkward IRC moments, and like nearly every week, I introduce to you the crazy IRC quotes:

[08:52] Crasty: I don’t know how that happened.
[08:52] OmniBerry: are you serious
[08:52] Crasty: I think so..
[08:52] OmniBerry: no cd?
[08:52] Crasty: I have to check the big game box out in the garage first though
[08:53] Crasty: but it’s not in my game folder.
[08:53] OmniBerry: I wonder is avalanche is still alive or if he took a loan from the mob
[08:53] Crasty: good question..
[08:54] OmniBerry: I was watching lan videos last nite
[08:54] OmniBerry: santa cruz lan was nearly 100 percent tv footage
[08:54] OmniBerry: dublin lan had no tv at all
[08:55] Steef|work: I blame you.

~~~

[09:43] Steef|work: I need a haircut
[09:43] Steef|work: =[
[09:43] OmniWork: SPEAKING OF HAIRCUTS, THE HAIR CUT GIRL CALLED ME LAST NIGHT
[09:44] Steef|work: she hot?
[09:44] OmniWork: my phone rang, i answered it thinking it was Tania.. and then i hear.. “So you came in for a hair cut on Saturday.”
[09:44] * OmniWork cues thunder and dimming lights
[09:44] OmniWork: dum dum dummmmm
[09:44] OmniWork: “…..yeaaah…..”
[09:44] OmniWork: “i wasn’t there.”
[09:44] OmniWork: “…no you weren’t.”
[09:44] OmniWork: there is nothing worse than a jealous hair stylist…
[09:44] * OmniWork cues awkward silence
[09:45] Steef|work: Dude… I feel awkward now.
[09:45] OmniWork: me: “so, uh.. what do you want.”
[09:45] OmniWork: tara: “just wanted to see how you been.”
[09:45] OmniWork: me: “uh, good. i’ve been good.”
[09:45] OmniWork: tara: “i’ve missed you sweety.”
[09:45] OmniWork: me: “uh, i have a girlfriend.”
[09:45] Steef|work: 3sum
[09:46] OmniWork: miguel and i call her edward scissorshands.
[09:46] OmniWork: because.. her nails..are like..
[09:46] OmniWork: her finger is above the space bar as she’s hitting a function key.
[09:46] Steef|work: Imagine the scratches on the back from that…. ouch.

~~~

[09:52] Steef|work: is she hot at least?
[09:52] OmniWork: i remember the first time i met her, she was cutting my hair…
[09:52] OmniWork: and she was all like are you still in school? i said no.
[09:52] OmniWork: she said yea i hate school
[09:52] OmniWork: i had to go to beauty school two times
[09:52] OmniWork: i got kicked out the first time
[09:52] OmniWork: it couldn’t pay attention
[09:52] OmniWork: the second time i just barely passed
[09:52] OmniWork: she’s telling me this shit as she’s buzzing my hair
[09:52] Steef|work: so she’s a real winner then, eh

~~~

[13:44] OmniWork: i had viet..a..min..ez… food
[13:44] OmniWork: i dont know how to speel
[13:44] Wilko: maybe
[13:44] OmniWork: there were a lot of asian girls there.
[13:45] OmniWork: including one that looked like the girl from the playboy channel that wears a plastic cock and spreads vomit over her pussy and high fives
[13:45] Wilko: where
[13:45] Wilko: did you go
[13:45] Steef|work: Omni man.. What the fuck?
[13:45] Wilko: he never did come back yet
[13:46] Wilko: thins ta do

~~~

[13:38] Wilko: Im a highschool student now
[13:38] Steef|work: You’d bang ‘er.
[13:38] Wilko: Im 14 thats pedophilia and illegal you sick sick man
[13:39] Steef|work: All I’ve seen of you is a paper bag and a set of shoulders.

~~~

[14:21:21] OmniWork: you’re almost 13?
[14:21:30] Wilko: almost 15
[14:21:45] OmniWork: whoa dang
[14:21:54] OmniWork: that is how old Mais was when he joined TG
[14:22:10] OmniWork: deathmage joined us when he was 12
[14:22:20] OmniWork: so you’ll end up like him.
[14:22:25] Crasty: a shattered husk.
[14:22:30] Steef|work: pierced more though
[14:22:45] OmniWork:
http://www.teamtg.com/wp-gallery2.php?g2_itemId=1343
[14:23:05] OmniWork: you’ll end up like that
[14:23:12] OmniWork: we called him The Goddess of Flowers for 5 years straight
[14:23:20] OmniWork: it made him start cutting himself.
[14:23:25] OmniWork: You’re Milko.
[14:23:29] OmniWork: that means you’ll probably turn into a tranny
[14:23:34] Wilko: HOLY SHIT
[14:23:35] *** Wilko has signed off IRC
[14:23:40] OmniWork: LMFAO
[14:23:47] OmniWork: holy shit i spit out my drink

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The StormMage has recently announced his departure from the parentals in the sleepy village of Pleasant Hill up in the Northern San Francisco Bay Area. Handled with swift grace, StormMage has now acquired StormMate. StormMate is StormMage’s roomie, and hopefully someone that will keep him warm and tuck him in at night share his enthusiasm for modding and flight simulators.

Without further ado, congratulations to your success.

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This animated image will draw you in — and leave you disturbed.

OmniWork: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Steef|work: That’s spectacular..
Wilko: Im gonna head up some left ova wings fo
Crasty: a lease! LAWL

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